what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
cheating on your boyfriend is the best diet ever, I've barely eaten in days. The guilt is killing me
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
Oh no I would never do that to her. But when you're single again let me know. Cheating penis is definitely better than single penis. But she has claws.
Playing nyquil pong with a cat again
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
Turns out the dorm toilet can't take a punch. Gonna be a long year without Mexican food.
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
The cat is stealing cigarettes and my vagina cures blindness. How's your night?
You threw up at the outdoor bar and it was pretty...astonishing just how much can come out of such a small human.
drunk boyfriend and drunk me are NOT meant for each other
Randomize
