im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
She just used a turkey baster to transfer alcohol from the glass to the bottle. Just thought you should know
I need to figure out what I wanna do with my life.
There are margaritas in the freezer still.
i'm pretty sure the only people calling it "sexting" are ones who don't actually do it
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
Scratch one off the douchebag bucket list. Just saw a guy in a sesame street tshirt and a tap out hat. Didn't get the memo that big bird's trying to get into mma.
I WILL BE THE BEST FICTITIONAL HISTORICAL FIGURE FOR THE FEMENIST MOVEMENT THE WORLD HAS EVER SEEN
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Well. Your father was, shall we say, privately surfing the Internet when he found a video of you and Kevin. This was on a very public website honey.
By the way, Kevin! OMG good catch honey!
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
well i mean, we just followed them into an alien and astronaut party. there was tin foil everywhere
If you send me another picture of a donut on your penis while I'm at work, I may have to slap you With the donut.
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