____ banged a stripper...well technically she's now a hooker...
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
Waitress cut us off at Chili's bar. New low
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
I am gunna fuck the accent right out of her mouth
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
We are all yelling at the cat at our apt in nothing but our underwear. How do you think it's going.
He told me he felt the only proper thing to do was fuck me to the top of the corporate ladder
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Kid walks in and orders 24 Mcdoubles and 14 large fries, as he's handing me the money he tells me he lost at rock paper scissors so he had to do the munchie run.
I am confused/concerned about the circumstances that led to your consumption of 3 beta fish last night.
Randomize
