My only options right now are Herpes, Gay, or Vanilla.
Did you know nanny-cams work just as well for recording that blow job on the sofa?
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm giving you a get out of sober free card for one of the nights
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Don't feel bad, we're professionals and we just housed burgers in burger king singing I believe I can fly
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Trying to coordinate a drug deal while taking a psych test is not easy.
The time to say "now you can't go and be strange about this at work" is not as you are penetrating your coworker. NOW its awkward
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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