i have a feeling tonight will end in rehab
Bisexual people are plain selfish.
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
I woke up 25 minutes ago and have been high for 20. Impressive?
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
Should I be alarmed that you're a regular enough at a bar to show up in sweatpants?
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
We're high and this subject came up and I'd like a female opinion: if you were a dude, what would you do if a girl tried to give you a foot job?
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
Just to be clear, the only reason you're allowed to scream "COCKTAIL SERVANT" at bartenders is because you have nice tits
On the plus side I'm getting really good at painting the inside of a toilet with my bowels.
You know what id love more than anything right now? ..a back rub while eating biscuits and gravy
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
Randomize
