had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
He just turned 21, it's very obvious the end of their relationship is near. Now we play the waiting game.
Just walked out of 7 11 still in uniform when 4 girls in bikinis in a convertable screamed "we fuck firefighters!"
Career choice validated
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
We didn't have sex but he is somehow naked and laying on top of me. his dick is touching my leg and freaking me the fuck out.
I miss the good ol days when id just come home from school and thered be a costco size box of condoms on my bed.
my parents really loved me back then.
well he got me up crazy early but i got pizza for breakfast and an electric blanket to sleep with sooo he passed the one night stand test.
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
Randomize
