You know that it's no longer pregaming if you don't go anywhere, right? That's just drinking alone.
this is the fifth day in a row i've woken up after 3 pm, hungover. I might die when snowmageddon is finally over and we have to go back to class. my liver wont know how to take it.
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
peeing off your aunts pourch into the koy pond seemed like a good idea at the time
maybe next time you'll take an ex boyfriend warning you that she's batshit crazy as a warning instead of a challenge
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
I just realized I have a habit of pre gaming for therapy visits. Problem?
We'll discuss it when you get here
Considering what happened last night and how horrible I feel, I look amazing
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
Randomize