Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
other than her wanting kids and me wanting to do drugs,were perfect for each other
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
Disregard the shoes in the freezer.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Randomize
