Don't worry I'll hold the wheel while you cum
you guys are cousins why the FUCK are your pants off
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
I think in growing up..I've been having a hard time masterbating to fictional characters
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
Trust me, dating 38 and 20 year old dudes at the same time is the best. Money plus all of the sex. Finally figured out this relationship thing.
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
Right as the plane left the gate the brownies kicked in. I dont think the guy next to me appreciated my engine noises as we took off
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
Randomize
