Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
Look, I'm just saying, she looks like a troll and works indefinitely at a shitty Chinese restaurant, so me sleeping with her boyfriend is the least of her troubles...
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
fucking him is like fucking old faithful. you could set your watch by his orgasms.
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
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