two of my INSANE ex girlfriends just texted me saying their coming over because im home alone. needless to say, im deleting my twitter.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
how do flat chested girls get laid?
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
I drink way too much to have a type. Last weekend I picked up a guy who calls me "baby girl"
you said candy land and then passed out.
ps. we found your stash in the candyland game. Thanks.
fun fact: in my eskimo family tree i am the only brunette
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
I usually don't buy birthday presents for my booty calls
But you'll make an exception
probably not
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
There's some random guy here dryhumping my kitchen door. If he is a friend of yours, please come and retrieve him.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
