Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
I just won Halloween Walk of Shame Bingo!
so just incase I die tonight I'm making a list of people that I don't want to be let in to my funeral
We always say that. And then its 4am and someone is screaming at strippers.
Who cheats on Christmas eve? It's just asking for Jesus to hate you
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
explain the broken jalepenos in my underwear drawer?
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
Success! We fucked roommates!
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
Randomize
