You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
This girls' body was nothing short of spectacular...her face, was like the '09 Detroit Lions
You're the only chick there. That's not an orgy, that's called a gang bang...
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Whip out the absinthe and the taquitos, this motherfucker just passed the bar.
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
Thanks a lot dude. I'm grateful to you for your gift of pure piss.
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