I wanna bring you to show and tell
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
pray for me tomorrow cause I have a midterm that I've mostly studied for by watching Bill Nye episodes on the subject...
He tried to carry her to her room after she passed out, but when he picked her up she came back to, saw him, screamed rape and pulled out her vuvuzela app and blasting it like a rape whistle.
i jus dunped the rest of my drink down the sink and tool my bra off. pretty sure this is the best decision for everybody.
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
She whispered into my eat that she wanted me to fuck her while her parrot watched...
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Get over here asap there are three naked girls two bottles of whiskey and only one of me
sorry about your sharpie. alex wanted to shave the left side of his body so he had me draw a line over him with a ruler
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