3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
The panties match.
I'll be right there.
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Omg! I'm gonna have a heat stroke. I'm going to collect my sweat and drink it for a buzz and hydration purposes
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
Is YOLO really just a socially acceptable way to say you enjoy putting things up your nose?
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I either have a razor blade lodged in my throat or I've been drinking entirely too much Evan Williams.
Just don't let me do two things: Beer bongs filled with vodka or shot competitions
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
You’ve seen my tits of course he broke his wedding vows
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