I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
I tried to go shot for shot with some guy called "shit show martinez"
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
we played a my little pint drinking game. It was awesome.
I found a body half wedged into my bedroom wall this morning. How do I explain THIS to the carpenters?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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