We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
something isn't right. i offered to be his sex slave and he declined..
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
We need to re-create the Get Some Ass Tour 2002.
Um, 2 out of 3 people involved with that particular event are now married, so I don't think that will be happening.
HELLO, they're MARRIED! They need to get some ass more than anyone.
We can do this. We've been drunk at a gay bar, we will not be taken down by a Tuesday.
About to be a 4Loko vomit fountain in 45 seconds, what color will it be? Animated birds will fly out of me.
I'll never get why we had to sing the entire full house theme to the cab driver.... never drinking rum again.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
Turns out that Irishman put my panties under his pillow afterward. Thanks?
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