Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
3rd rule of buttsex she must be clean and shower recently
and skipped dinner
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
We're stealing the mannequin. He's my new swimming partner.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
He ordered a meatball sub with a side of meatballs.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
