i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
I now officially know the distance between my two boobs is one twizzler.
I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
After walking in on us in the living room, he still insisted that he slept in my bed with me afterwards.
Dude she threw his clothes out n 8th floor window and her dog tried to bite his dick off. So the answer is yes it could be worse...
May or may not be going home with my jamitor. i'm kiddong, btw, i have no idea. i'll let you know soooon.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
How am I so hungover that wearing sunglasses hurts my head?
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
She made sure everyone knew we were doing shots for her dead grandma.
He was a foot taller than me and my hands were bigger than his, it's called Pity head
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
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