just woke up and my boobs have "fun police" written on them
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
He was really drunk and I dared him to jump the swimming pool on his bike. Sadly he couldn't. Hey did you know a testicle can burst?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
btw telling the cab driver, that took you to your booty call that is now returning your wallet that you left in his cab, that you want to hug him is awkward
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
I pretty much just wake up, masturbate at least twice, and go to the beach. #Unemployed. I do look for jobs in between all that tho.
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize