did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
I was about to go down on her and her dong flopped out and hit me in the chin. This may have a Nam like post-traumatic-stress-disorder effect on me.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
So here i am dipping ice cream in my vodka and watching the bad girls club on demand. This is not ok
She had one of those kid princess beds. I asked how she expected to fuck on that and she just said "thats what the slide is for". I've never wanted to marry a one night stand before.
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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