The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
just saw the guy i hooked up with last nights' face on a billboard. win.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
You are the only person I know that goes to a bar enough to charge your iPhone there....
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Only I could run tino my father in law while looking at condoms at Rite Aid. At 730 on a Thursday morning. I'm in trouble.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
I think he's trying to finish jacking off before throwing up again
dude it's 9am and i'm still drunk it's too early for sexting
You're not who I thought you were. You've changed.
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
i havent showered for 4 days and i just made my dog smell my arm pit. also, im stoned.
Randomize
