And now his mom knows I was dipping my pen in company ink
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Have $25 to my name but it's $2 pitchers. I have no choice but to go.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
please don't fuck her on my bed i'm too poor for laundry quarters
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
You yell at me for being attracted to older guys and you're over here condoning murder
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
On a scale from 1 to 10 how gross is it to get a chili dog from a vending machine?
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
Randomize
