hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
I'm on his itunes. He has a sex playlist. It's actually not so much a playlist as 12 Kylie Minogue songs with a big gay Whitney finish.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
You should've come to the party. It was like an identity parade of everyone you screwed last year.
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
I didn't just randomly come up with it. But if you want to give me extra credit for creativity I have a bare chest and chocolate sauce left
You BETTER NOT STEAL MY MOTHERFUCKING SQUIRREL
I also just stashed a half dozen bobby pins in my bra.... So when you take it off later, consider yourself warned
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
You had a good week dude, you bought a motorcycle and a beer bong with ur parents money, missed 2 classes, and ran from security twice, good first 2 days to college
Randomize
