Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
fuck your need to drink for whitney a thousand times last night.
U were yelling that I wasn't generous or supportive. Then you kneeled and said this weird prayer about the windows and doors of your life.
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
I can't wait til me and pit bull can just be together
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
Smoked a joint with mom, best Thanksgiving ever!
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He thought reverse cowgirl meant he dressed up as a cowgirl. Honestly, it was more creepy than funny
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