I'm going to get a baby outfit made and send it to her that says: "My husband fucked his subordinate and all I got was another baby".
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I kinda wish he had even a slight idea of the sex I'm planning for his departure. I'm literally studying for it.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
Captain America stopped by our tailgate. He ate a taco.
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
Suffice to say, I think if people ask about your bruises, and you look them right in the eye, and say "they're from fucking...", people would be like, "respect."
Dude, fate has brought her to your penis.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
