Jake died.
WTF????????? That's how you tell me????
Oops typo. Jake cried.
so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
She always used to joke about becoming a stripper. WHO'S FUNNY NOW?!
Fuck. Totally just had sex instead of studying for econ test in an hour. Gonna get fucked again. HELP ME WITH YOUR EXTENSIVE KNOWLEDGE OF ECON
Randomize
