just come out here and I will go home with you...
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
Finished watching the entire first season of mighty morphing power rangers. Now I have nothing. Not even a life.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
So I don't know, I'm not a doctor, but I might be juggling dates with 3 different guys...
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
my life could not get any worse. just saw my sister in a porno
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
