I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
I'm so ready for finals. She finally agreed to skypesex me from spain so now i'm up until 4am studying every morning waiting for her to get online
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I just got released from jail. still in my kilt. bring pants damnit. they won't understand.
pants will make it better? really?
They were picking gravel out of my face for an hour. I think I took more out of the road than the road did of me.
Barfights against pavement aren't genrally won by people. Props.
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
of fours songebofy did dknt stop believing
how legible are my texts
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