12 pack with dinner. Living by yourself is awesome.
Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
if all i could do was poop and smoke weed, i'd be eternally happy
amen to that sister
While my grandpa showed the family a slide show he accidentally included a topless photo of his new gf.
My gym is having a pizza and beer party. God im starting to love this place.
Houston, we have a problem
where are u?
Houston. That's the problem. I don't know how I got here.
How do you get mayonnaise out of... well jesus it's everywhere, let's start with carpets
You tried to sled down the middle of the street. In. Your. Coat. Of course you are bruised.
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I did it on acid. I can cook bacon on any condition
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Some guy I'd never met and didn't invite threw the punch bowl at the wall and set the plastic skeleton on fire. I don't think we'll be getting the full deposit back
Randomize