drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
There's a 34yo winking at me. Why do i find this weird when my bf is a 38yo married man?
this guy showed up at my house asking for his sword and cape. something tells me i shouldn't drink that much again.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
we were walking and you spelled the word "oats" to prove you weren't drunk.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I'm with some lesbians. Somehow I offended them and the Justin Beiber one told me I was fat.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
I feel like I got run over by a steamroller made of cigarettes and booze driven by all of the men I've slept with.
she squeaked mid orgaism. I laughed she cried
Listen I don't care what it's called as long as it's drugs
I CAN’T BELIEVE YOU STUCK YOUR DICK IN CRAZY!
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