naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
The arresting officer told me "you probably get this a lot, but you look like anthony kiedis".
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
We are cuddling. She is so cute when she is too high to be a loud bitch.
Worst decision of artistic career thus far: bringing a banana to eat on male model day.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
He called his dick the "gentle giant"
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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