her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
I'm lit.While shaving my legs I pretended the razor was a tractor cutting down corn. Noises included.
she must of just birthed a child cause her labia touched the floor
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
she got pretty angry when i tried to superglue her fingers together.
Ya well my good-girl image was pretty much blown when he found out I'm going to jail soon.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
My apartment looks like the apocalypse of sobriety.
I just want him to make us coffee. And whack off into the sunset
I had to replace her wine with red vitamin water. So if she’s alive, you can thank me
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
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