I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
dude literally just took me 4 trips to take out the recycling from last night. we need to have parties like this more often
I woke up naked on the bathroom floor. the tile grout marks on my boobs hurt, i mananged to use a roll toilet paper as a pillow. never again. did we eat salad?
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
This morning is cloudy with a high chance of vomiting all over the dentist. Stay tuned for further updates.
i just sent him like 8 different sexts and he texted me back about how good the hummus is that i left in his fridge.
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
woke up to a family dragging me under their beach umbrella, they poured water on me bc they "thought I was dead" then fed me quesadillas and nursed me back to health... gotta love Cabo
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
DELETE THAT VIDEO OF ME MAKING OUT WITH THAT RUG NOW
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Of course my parents remember you. You showed them your tits
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