Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
I just ran into the couch, vagina first.
I hope you got dinner out of it
He felt like a one man threesome
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
honestly I asked the same thing when we had our slip n slide and margarita party
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
thanks for the bloody nose. you probably dont remember, i'm not mad.. only because your boobs are to blame
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
This chick just walked by and pet my beard. Don't know, never talked to her. She just walked by and pet my beard.
Marry her
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
