I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Report just came out that Tim Tebow is a virgin but I have proof he is not. He's bent Florida State over the last four years in a row.
I just added 'steal mom's xanax' to my to do list for when I go home for Easter.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You're 21st was epic. I woke up at 6 a.m. on the floating beer pong table in the pool with a beer still in hand. Didn't even spill any
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
Also I think I drunkenly signed up to be an uber driver or something because they keep emailing me to fill out a background check
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Randomize
