Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
i'm watching the fashion show on bravo
you're cheating on project runway?
if you can't score coke, you buy crack.
apparentely "Beer Pong Champ" is not a profession, no wonder they havent called me back......
told ya
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
you're letting him buy you a plane ticket...to kentucky...so you can fuck him?
i know. i'm only adding to the interstate sex trade problem.
He's the equivalent of a body pillow and a dildo. But still funny. We have good pillow talk.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
The guy who was The Count on Sesame Street died this week too. Therefore, you should take multiple shots, count them, & go "ahh aaahh aaaahhh" after each one. I expect video...
I just walked in on my sixteen year old sister soaking her tampon in vodka. I go to Berkeley. And they think she's the good daughter.
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
I put xanax in the cake batter
Did you really? It all makes sense now.
I just choked eating whip cream from the can, and peed a little because I was coughing so hard. How am I still single.
Randomize
