why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
Just wrote a paper about alcohol abuse that sounded like my weekend...
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
i know you like preteen girls so i'm gonna offer you some advice...dump a bucket of glitter on yourself and walk into the sunlight. they will come running.
Even my Russian and Serbian roommates think I drink to much.
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
Some daaay... Bet your bottom dollar that some daaay you'll do that mollyyyy
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
Who wrote "the chamber of secrets has been open, enemies of the heir beware" across my bathroom wall?
I don't understand why you aren't on this trip all I do is smoke weed drink beer and get fingered
I might attempt to pee into a cup while driving. I'll let you know how it goes.
Goodnight Shia. Goodnight Moon.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
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