God dammit. Now I'm pissed at Arizona, while feeling bad for my poor, poor penis.
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
lets put it this way..we'd win on tool academy
Hey guess what I got for Valentine's day? Debt and blue balls.
im flying all the way to minnesota to see him for four days... cutest-best-friend-reunion or most-epic-booty-call-ever?
who says it cant be both...
I feel like I just need to fuck him after all his effort. like a "hey man good try" like those kids who get last place and still get a trophy.
nobody understands how my tooth became embedded in the ceiling last night.
Well I'm currently debating between getting toilet paper or getting my eyebrows waxed so... There's that
i wish i just like had a pee bag attached to me and i could just go whenever i want wherever i want
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
i swear i was one second from getting his number and then the shrooms kicked in
Your skill with memes is vaguely frightening
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
Randomize
