Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
That's what happens when you park you car under a perfectly good balchony I can puke off of
Referring to yourself in third person during sex is apparently an instant turn off
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
My flask has coffee in it for finals week.. So that's responsible right?
You gave your one night stand my number. I told him you left for your sex change an hour ago.
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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