I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I think my mom knows im high. It could be because im slow dancing with my cat in the kitchen. The dip and kiss is what gave it away.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Found the puke drawer
Just did coke off of a cross necklace and am headed to the strip club. Happy Easter!
Happy Thanksgiving! Hope its not too awkward that your dad and your boyfriend are the same age.
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
-367$ and a torn scrotum.. Panama wins
Why the fuck is Ian Naked eating string cheese in my guest bedroom?
Randomize
