Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I'm not crazy, I only keep calling you cause you won't pick up.
You called information & said "connect me to johnny depp" when they told u it wasn't listed u said " try depp comma johnny he's expecting my call"
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
started my period, we have to try again next week
if we have anymore sex before that my dick is gonna fall off. that is in no way a complaint
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Randomize
