Let's just say there is a bloody hand print above my bed and it's not mine. Literally.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
Well yea but it's the principle of the thing.. The fact that he could actually BE your daddy
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
I haven't seen him since I gave him a hand job in the hospital. I like to think I contributed to his speedy recovery.
Woke up in a pile of people on the floor. His dad was already up and ask me to help him cook bacon because "7 lbs can be a mother fucker"
I either need to get adopted or have someone's baby, but I'm joining that family
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
i just looked at those "hey" messages and i was so confused and then i remembered we were practicing texting with our tongues.
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
I'm in the upstairs bathroom. I went to the bathroom after class and realized this is not a shit I want to have publicly. I ran home. We can go to lunch, just give me a min
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
