Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's almost as awesome as vicodin.
Can i tell him you said that? Cuz i know that means a lot coming from you
I have discovered that there is nothing that a giant penis attached to a southern accent can't talk me into. yee-haw!
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Dude it's bad when your 10 year old son makes fun of your penis size.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
I convinced a shit ton of people I was a russian foreign exchange student to get free drinks. I knew learning those accents would come in handy.
Whenever I think to myself, "I don't work for a bunch of hours"... It's shot time?
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
Like did he really think I just hit him up for dick !? It's 11:30 am , these ain't hoe hours
And you hate the library
Yea but I love drugs and my grades
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
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