bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I just saw a hobo shake a payphone until it spat out a bunch of quarters. what a champ.
Found moms dildo in drawer while looking for socks, and its wet
She took off her pants and it was like seeing an old friend.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
We spent a good 10 minutes in the morning looking for my clothes. I ended up taking the bus home in my 6inch heels and his baggy t-shirt. The bus was filled with kids... one of them whistled at me.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
i'd say i'm about at weeping-uncontrollably-in-a-puddle-of-my-own-tears-and-urine level
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Pretty sure I just puked up sand. And nothing else.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
you made it your goal to puke in every planter around the union. you got most of them. im proud of you
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
Randomize
