as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
We need to either drink and not go to waffle house or go to waffle house and not drink. I need to know which is causing these shits.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
currently pooping in a public restroom while drinking free beer. there has never been a finer line between awesome and depressing.
You drink it until you puke in a vent one time and it's ruined forever.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
I just sat watching friends in the bathtub by candlelight...nights like this make me wonder if I ever want to be in a relationship again
Just puked most of my soul out..
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
