yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
Don't worry. I just took 2 benadryls and beat off. I'm practically sleep texting
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
