Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
I just bought a vibrating toothbrush with my parents FSA insurance card because I'm too broke for a vibrator. New.Level.Of.Low.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
tell me there's a reason my bed smells like paint thinner
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
I've woke up with the same hoodie on backwards, twice this week. I think that's a record
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
No like I actually peed on the treadmill. As it was running
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
Someone called asking about the gate code and I said "hashtag" for # instead of "pound." Ugh. I feel so dirty.
i wish he'd fuck me as good as he is at karate.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
Thank you, my gorgeous heroine, for being such a total life-saver by giving me rides, forcing me to eat, providing porous absorbant surfaces to bleed on, and everything else you do <3
Randomize
