We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
just snorted lines off a mancala board. I'm destined to win this game.
She's riding a tiny four-wheeler and has a Dos Equis in her hand. I at least have to meet her.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
His idea of romance is drunkenly leaving me dead dandelions on my car in the middle of the night
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
I told her to to let go of her rationtal thoughts and just enjoy the fact that i was going down on her till she passed out from sheer orgasmic pleasure.
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
So anyway, I'm just floating along life with my vibrator and low expectations.
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
