i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
you had "tips for anal sex" in your google search history this morning. how was your sunday night?
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
My parents just out drank me... I cant get back to college soon enough
Heed the warning of the ghost of Oktoberfest present: German beer is soooooooo much better than our watered down children's piss. also lost all my clothes and am wearing lederhosen the rest of the trip.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
don't you dare blame getting arrested on me. you sugested we play the penis game and we all know I'm a strong competitor
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
It's George Washington's Birthday. Can you not put on some red white and blue and get really drunk for the original Merican??
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I was going to be upset with you on moral grounds but then i realized free chocolate was involved
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
What were you even doing out there at 2 a.m.?
Look, i had a gallon of lemonade, a pack of smokes and a Darth Vader voice changer. What did you EXPECT me to do?
Randomize