So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
The lack of pants and amount of productivity in my life right now is amazing.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
he told me he could still feel the blowjob i gave him last year
wow. THAT good huh
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
I really like your cover photo on fb that looks cool
In case birth mom friends me back, thought I should make it less drunk looking.
i woke up to a text from someone I put in my phone last night as "Giant Penis"
what did G.P. say?
oddly enough it was a dick pic
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
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