i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
Good luck! Who knows he might be a stallion in the bedroom! or it could be like having sex with a crayon.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
Just woke up next to our cab driver from last night. Please tell me this isn't happening.
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
It's like I opened a door and behind it lay mythical creatures sprinklin fairy dust upon the land leading me to a pot of gold. And that gold is some delicious cock.
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
I dont even think your gonna like what I got you for christmas. If not we can take it back and get drugs.
Just cried watching Wimbledon, worst comedown ever.
Is is gay if I donloaded Grinder to see if my roommate is gay?
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
Randomize
