Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
My coke dealer called me at midnight just to ask how to spell a word. Not sure how I should feel about that.
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Then he started caressing my eye brow. Like repetedly. For at least 15 minutes. It was strangely mesmerizing
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
Randomize
