Grossest hangover story of 09: Puked in the bathtub. I was in it.
what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
You know you're drunk when you're apologizing for your asshole at 4am to the toilet. Eat shit habanero bbq sauce, you've ruined my life.
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I have photo proof.
Girl, don't care. What's my rule? If I don't remember it, it never happened.
she crossed my comfort zone...i thought i was a freak
said the guy with a pink sex swing...
I'm not sure of this happened or if it was just a dream... But I vividly remember you walking down the street naked?
No actually I had socks on...
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