I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
They upped the price of Plan B! Rite-aid is going to be the reason I have illegitimate kids.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
I'm that hungover student in class ... On a wednesday morning
Omg I think I'm in the wrong class
I feel like this is the moment of high where you have to write these texts down to remember to text them and feel that somehow this is important to the continuity of the world.
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Grateful to be alive soliciting dick pics. Thankful i'm alive for these little things and especially these big ones too.
Randomize
