oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
I just cleaned your Jaeger vomit off my car with a knife. Don't ever say I don't love you.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Just for future questioning, I didnt break up with you over text
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
that's all we do, eat and hve sex, eat and have sex. he thinks it's bad and that we need to talk more or whatever but I'm just not seeing the problem...
Going to the beach. Greeting Sandy with a blunt. Wish us luck!
Nothing too major over here lately. Just had a date with an ex-internet porn star turned lawyer. He said: "at my 3rd burning man I taught a workshop on BDSM" and I knew it was going to be a fun night.
He just pulled his sweatpants down and pissed in the middle of our garden
Knows all the good gay bars AND has a dog? Wtf can't I drop pizza on guys like that????
Hey. I hope you have enough room in your car for me and a Honda civic front bumper.
Three cans of beer can fit in the shower catty... multi tasking
Randomize