The only reason I'm still around is so I can grow a huge Gandalf beard when my hair turns gray
went out last night and woke up on the bathroom floor again, thinking about just moving my bed in there.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He had a cowboy hat I don't know where from and he was trying to lasso a snowman with a dog leash.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
I love you. Happy valentines. Satin Patricks dayyyyyyyyyy. Alreadythrew up. Geeeeerait.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
WEED IS MY SPIRIT ANIMAL
That one probably shouldn't have been in caps
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
This couple is walking their pig around campus
Congratulations you now have a pet Scotsman.
Randomize