if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
We could be hammered at a childrens film. You failed me
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
Then a third Canadian I didn't know showed up to the hotel room at like 3am. I let him sleep in our bed because he had pizza.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
But he's super into Jesus and I'm the devil. So we weren't meant to be
Dude, I wish I could live my entire life blacked out.
He's a snuggler. Every time I attempt to make a move to find my bra he reigns me in. Needless to say i could be here a while.
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