I CAN MOONWALK!
So bad night, ended up beating off to porn and eating Keebler elf cookies.... at the same time :-(
so last night after we hooked up i got my period and woke up this morning with a blood stain on his bed and not only was it huge but i had put my jeans back on before bed so i took the walk of shame with period stained pants
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I just spent the last ten minutes making a timeline of my sex life. 2010 and 2011 I am calling "I can't believe Im still clean" years.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
It was incredible. For as long as I live, I will gladly drop whatever I'm doing and spend a night with her face between my legs ANY time she asks.
I am decidedly straight, but I'll write it into my wedding vows if I have to.
Yeah i just finished watching someone play ping pong with his penis it didn't fully register until after a few seconds
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
AND I HAVE A NICE COCK! A STRIPPER TOLD ME SO IT MUST BE TRUE!
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
Randomize
