I'm like a rollypolly, I only open my legs up when I feel safe.
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
There's a sucker born every minute but swallowers are harder to find.
So glad I found your sister.
Look what our sorority has done to us...we're hitting on girls in hopes of getting an awesome little.
It's one thing to send dick shots. It's a whole other thing to send unimpressive dick shots while wearing crocs.
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
Last year you twerked on my Christmas tree and threw up all over the bathroom...in front of my parents. We should probably keep power hour to ONLY an hour this year
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
Turns out dignity is priceless and Plan B costs $41.09
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize
