i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
hes wearing the same tie today that i tied him up with last night.i wanna go home
I just discovered the Reese's pieces and sourdough bread sandwich. No signs of coming down.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
she has an amazing ass but I need more beers to get past her horse face. It works out perfect becauseI can use her teeth as a bottle opener.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
You convinced her to break up with her boyfriend, made out with her all night, got her to buy us all shots then went home with a different girl...
That explains the "i hate you" text. But the facebook deletion is a bit harsh
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
Why the hell did you smack that girls beer out of her hand at the end of the night then buy her a double jack and coke for?
Its called bad cop laid cop.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
Been awake for 50 some odd hours. I've discovered I can spew out maaaad papers whilst coked out of my face. My roommates probably think I'm dead. Money well spent. You?
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
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